How to stop being shy; this has been the story of my life… I’ve always been that quiet kid that people barely noticed because I never said a word. It hasn’t exactly been a living hell, but it isn’t something I’ve enjoyed either.
I felt this shyness was holding me back because I knew that there is so much I could offer to the world. After all, I’m such a deep thinker, and I find myself coming up with some pretty funny jokes sometimes; but I was just too shy to express them. The lack of self-expression made me feel trapped; I was not free.
It wasn’t up until the age of 22 when I decided to make a change and get out of my shell, But how would I do it?
Well; after thousands of hours of video, over 15 books on self-confidence, and hundreds of situations where I forced myself to dominate my shyness. I can now say I am a pretty confident guy. I wouldn’t say it’s
In the following article, I’m going to provide you with 39 tips on how to stop being shy. Tips that I used and helped me tremendously in my journey. And yes, it is a journey, it will not happen overnight.
But with the right mentality and discipline, I promise you that you will overcome your shyness and have that freedom you’ve always dreamed of!
Why You Are Shy
In order to cure something, we must first find the cause. Once you identify the cause then you can draw a solution on how to stop being shy. The reason for shyness could be one of two things, if not both.
1) You are traumatized as a result of being shamed when you were a child
2) You think you’re not valuable enough to share what’s in your mind. Therefore, to avoid sounding dumb and being judged, you keep to yourself.
For me, it was a combination of both.
I remember when I was 12 in my first year of middle school, kids repeatedly shamed me whenever I spoke because my English wasn’t perfect. Since I was born in Colombia and Spanish was my first language, I spoke English with an accent and often mispronounced words.
As a result, the shaming from the kids stuck with me, and I became afraid of speaking up because it usually came with more shaming; this is a form of social anxiety.
(if you suffer from a more severe shyness like social anxiety, then feel free to read my article on how to get rid of it.)
The second reason for my shyness came from thinking that what I had to say was not significant.
I felt that other people were probably smarter than me and therefore my opinion would be a stupid one, with no value. I felt that if I were to speak up and say something dumb, then people would judge me in their heads.
Therefore, It made sense to me that if I didn’t speak up, then no one would judge me, so that’s what I decided to do.
“I know that I am because I know that I know nothing.”Socrates
As we can see from the quote above; Shy people tend to be intelligent, and the reason they are so reluctant to speak up is because they understand that knowledge is infinite! You can never be sure about anything.
39 TIPS ON HOW TO STOP BEING SHY
Now that we’ve analyzed what is causing the shyness. I am going to share with you 39 things that I did to overcome my shyness. The following are actions and realizations that helped me and can help you too if you decide to stay consistent and get rid of shyness once and for all!
- Take a sales job: fastest way to get out of your shell
- Accept who you are 100%: Nothing to fear if there is nothing to hide
- Become knowledgeable by reading: Speak things of value
- Join a public speaking club: Helps you realize what you say is important
- Start a Youtube channel and speak about yourself: Some people will love you, and some will hate you. That’s life!
- Don’t take life too seriously: our time is short
- Go out with a friend and dare each other to talk to girls: you’d be surprised at how many girls will actually like you!
- Stop worrying about things which are out of your control: You can’t control what people think, so screw them!
- Join a sports team
- Get used to small talk: If you can’t avoid it, then you get good at it!
- Act out on purpose: get used to being judged by people
- Learn about social anxiety: you might have it
- Learn about human behavior and interactions: you can control the interaction!
- Start a podcast: to learn how to express your thoughts
- Find your calling: You need a sense of purpose
- Teach your calling: It will be of value to some people
- Meditate: Control your mind
- Improve every area of your life: Gain a sense of self-value
- Constantly expose yourself to your fears: desensitize yourself
- Realize absolutely everyone has insecurities: everyone is dealing with something
- Force yourself to participate in class: Get used to sharing your valuable opinion
- Go to social settings and talk to everyone: drunk people talk about dumb stuff; bring up something interesting
- Feel good by looking good: Clean, Groomed and dressed nice
- Get used to often smiling: Best icebreaker!
- Learn about voice volume and tonality: Voice is everything, it can make you or break you!
- Apply everything you learn: knowledge without action is meaningless
- Realize you’re not alone; there are millions of shy individuals
- Think positive: About everything!
- Crush negative thoughts: Give these a short attention span
- Focus on giving not taking: People don’t judge if you provide them with value
- Volunteer in charity events: Exposes you to tons of people why making you feel good about yourself
- Get 8 hours of sleep: Antiexy has been tied to lack of sleep, studies suggest
- Write down every accomplishment: acts as a reminder of what you can accomplish when you set your mind to it
- Learn how to control your breathing: Control your breath, and your body will follow
- Have a clear picture of your ethics, morals, and believes: Helps you come across as confident
- Defend what you believe in
- Be genuine: people hate liars
- Have supportive, focused friends: You won’t seek approval if you already have supportive, loving people around you.
- Do Karaoke