Many dudes believe the gym is not an ideal place to pick up women. They say women don’t want to be interrupted while they’re working out. I call bullshit. Those guys are just scared or don’t know the techniques on how to talk to a girl at the gym.
Seeing a hot girl walking in the street alone is rare. But at the gym, they’re in the same building as you, and all by themselves on most occasions. So why pass up the opportunity to score with a hottie?
Let the juice heads believe that their muscles will magically get them girls “one day”, while you and I take action by picking up girls at the gym. 🍑
In this article, I’m going to give you the no bullshit approach on how to pick up girls at the gym…without any awkwardness and a high success rate. Light Weight!
How To Pick Up A Girl At The Gym Tip 1: Drop The False Beliefs
Many myths when it comes to picking up girls at the gym, here are a few I’m sure you’ve heard before
- All Women believe gym guys are shit
- Girls that go to the gym are aggressive
- Women at the gym are not friendly
- 100% of girls at the gym don’t want to be bothered
- Women don’t want to meet guys at the gym
I call bullshit five times!
Let’s debunk these myths one by one
Women believe gym guys are shit
Far from the truth, and this is because most women like a guy who is healthy and fit. And not just women but people in general, we want other healthy people. Health is attractive, and studies confirm that! 👨🔬
I don’t know about you, but I don’t know a better place to find health-conscious individuals than at a gym.
Plus think about it, a guy that goes to the gym has an advantage on guys that don’t… he has something in common with her. A great topic of conversation!
Women that go to the gym are aggressive and manly
This one could be true on occasions, but very rare.
From my experience, most times when I see a girl, she is doing her leg exercises. These include squats, leg presses, leg curls, leg extensions, and the good girl bad girl machine.
These type of girls are feminine, they’re just trying to get a nice booty for the short dresses they wear on the weekends. 😈
Rarely do you see a girl at the gym doing heavy and intense lifting like a dude. Saying that most girls at the gym are aggressive utterly dishonest.
Women at the gym are not friendly
This myth is foolish, and it’s one I’ve heard about many other places, not because it’s true, but because it’s just weak guys making excuses. 😤
Some say women at bars aren’t friendly, others say women at school aren’t friendly, and some even say women on earth aren’t friendly! Ok, maybe not that last one…
But look, the reality is that women are women, and just because they are located at a particular place, it doesn’t dictate whether they are friendly or not.
Women are people, some will be friendly, and some won’t be… it depends on their character.
Women at the gym don’t want to be bothered
Once again, this depends on the woman and the situation.
Just like there are men who aren’t friendly and don’t want to talk to anyone—some women don’t want to be bothered because that’s just their (unique) personality. Both are rare instances, not the norm.
It’s like saying all the guys at the gym skip leg day, it’s a false generalization. 🦵
If you are to approach a woman at the gym be smart about it. Obviously, don’t approach if she’s in the middle of a set or doing an intense cardio sesh. Instead, wait and talk to her when she’s finished or resting after a set.
Women don’t like to meet guys at the gym
This has to be the absolute worst excuse, when it comes to picking up girls at the gym (hate it!). Even though there is absolutely no proof for this idea, guys still believe this stupid myth. 🙄
Would you mind if a smart, funny,
Of course not!
You’d be flattered!
Well, Same goes for women, they don’t care about where they meet a guy as long as the guy is a catch (more on how to be a catch later on).
If you don’t believe me, take a look at the following video from the Jack Manley Youtube channel
Does it look like girls care about where they meet guys after watching that video? NOPE, NOT AT ALL.
All these myths are from weak guys rationalizing ways of getting out of doing the difficult thing: getting out of their comfort zone and speaking to the girl.
Don’t be that guy!
How To Pick Up A Girl At The Gym Tip 2: Be Brief
When you pick up a girl at the gym you want to keep the interaction brief, after all, she’s there to get her work out in.
If you’re going to approach her in between sets, make sure the interaction doesn’t last longer than about 8 minutes. 👌🏼
8 minutes is a good amount of time because it gives you just enough to build rapport, but not too long that she loses her momentum.
Even better, would be to approach at the end of her workout when she’s leaving the gym. That way you know for sure you’re not interrupting anything.
However… Don’t rely on only talking to her when she’s on her way out. I see too many guys use this as an excuse on why they couldn’t do it. They say “she was too fast dude, I couldn’t catch up to her.”
That’s an excuse, if you know she’s quick to pick up her things and leave then just take to her immediately, not when she’s leaving.
How To Pick Up A Girl At The Gym Tip 3: Warm The Body Up
You ever hear a woman say the following words when speaking about the guy she likes, “he had such a good vibe?” I’m sure you have, it’s common.
But what is a vibe? And how does it raise attraction in women?
A vibe is just energy, and you can raise her attraction by giving her some of yours!
Most guys approach a girl with a taking mentality. They want her attention, her approval, and ultimately her number. But what’s in it for her? What will she gain? And that’s where most men mess up. 🛑
And you might be saying, well I’m a pretty cool dude, and you’re probably right. But she doesn’t know that yet. At the beginning you’re just another average bloke.
DO THIS: Instead of going up to a girl with the mentality of taking, go with a giving mentality. And I’m not saying you have to give her money or anything of that sort, no.
All you have to give her is energy, positive energy!
That is the “vibe” she wants, a positive one. She wants to laugh, tease, play, and feel special. Provide her with this, and I promise you 9 times out of 10 times she will be receptive, and perhaps become attracted.
So what does this energy mumbo jumbo have to do with warming up your body?
Well, in order to give positive energy you must possess it first.
You must feel happy, confident, active, warm, excited, passionate, etc. You cannot fake positive energy, women can sniff out a phony energy instantly!
Therefore, if you see a girl at the gym that you want to talk to, but you’re feeling tired and sluggish from a long day at work, then you must first go build up the positive energy in your body. There’s several ways to do this.👇🏼
- Increasing the heart rate with cardio
- Finish your workout first
- Watch a motivational video
- Watch a funny video
- Take 5 deeps breaths
- Get in a talking mood by talking to other people before approaching her
Once you get a rush of that positive energy all throughout your body, and you’re feeling super hype and happy, then go talk to her! Make her feel how you feel, AMAZING!
BTW, this is called the law of state transference. People will feel the emotions you feel, it’s a well tested strategy.
Plus, you will stay in her memory for a while. People rarely remember words, but they do remember how they felt when interacting with you.
How To Pick Up A Girl At The Gym Tip 4: Eye Contact
Eye contact is something that the best salespeople master.
Because it is one of the best creators of relationship and trust—two things that a crucial for influence.
When you talk to a girl, you too are a salesperson, but instead of selling a product you are selling yourself. So just like the skilled salesman, you must learn technique of proper eye contact. 👁
When making eye contact with a girl, you want to look at her with intent, confidence, and transparency.
This will communicate the following: “I am not scared of you”, “I find you attractive”, and “I am not a bad guy”.
Do this as soon as the interaction begins, and the chances that she will become interested in you shoot through the roof!
Use proper eye contact, and you don’t even have to tell a girl you like her verbally, she will know it just by what you are communicating with your eyes and body language. 🖖🏼🤙🏼🤏🏼
However, make sure you don’t over do it because you’ll scare her away. Keep the eye contact at about 70%, and smile often.
How To Pick Up A Girl At The Gym 5: Tonality
Tonality is by far the best predictor of whether you will succeed or fail when picking up a girl at the gym. 🗣
The part of the interaction with a girl that guys mess up the most is tonality, which is understandable, it’s not easy to focus on what you sound like while looking for things to say.
But, what if instead of focusing on what to say, you instead you focus on how you’re saying it?
After all, how you say something is wayyy more important than what you’re saying. Don’t believe me? See for yourself in the following video from The Daily Dropout Youtube channel.
“You’re hotter than my sister” was his pickup line, and he still got all their numbers!
Now, I’m not saying you have to go out and tell girls they are hotter than your sister (DON’T DO THAT!) 🙅🏽♂️
However, you do want to analyze Steven’s tonality and mannerisms, because in reality, that is what these girls liked about him—not the irrational and awkward pickup line.
So, what about about Steven’s tonality made him so attractive?
The first thing is his volume, his voice is loud and clear.
Consistent volume and clarity subconsciously signals to the woman that you’re unapologetic in nature, and therefore, confident.
She can feel that he has no fear of judgement, Steven is speaking his truth and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.
That type of careless attitude is a common trait of alpha males, so it’s no wonder women become attracted to it.
The second thing we can notice, is how he keeps a low dominant pitch throughout the whole interaction. Not once did Steven raise the pitch in his voice as if asking for permission. Only insecure beta males ask for permission. 🙇🏻♂️🚫
Steven kept a low pitch with a commanding tone. He stayed relaxed, and took his time to breathe so his voice wouldn’t sound shaky.
Lastly, match your body language to your tone. You can’t have a confident tone while displaying submissive body language, that just looks weird!
If you notice, in the video Steven’s body language is just as dominant as his voice. Steven is standing up straight, his chest is out and so are his arms. He is very loose, using his arms to add additional communication.
How To Pick Up A Girl At The Gym 6: What you say
This is the part of talking to a girl that guys think is the most important. Wrong!
First, you must master non-verbal communication, and only after you’ve done that, can you move to the verbal part of the interaction. 🤙🏼🤏🏼🖖🏼👀
Even though what you say is not the most important point when picking up a girl at the gym, you still need to know it—because your conversation needs context.
There are two ways to go about figuring out what to say: direct and indirect.
All the direct approach is: walking up to the girl and verbally letting her know your interest in her.
So for example, a pickup line would be a direct approach.
Telling her you came up because you think she’s pretty is also a direct approach.
Many new guys prefer the direct approach because it’s brief, they can get out of the uncomfortable position faster. 🏃
Furthermore, the most successful guys at utilizing the direct approach know that by adding humor, like a funny pickup line, gives them their best shot at success. Using witty lines also works well.
These guys also understand that they need to stay long enough to build some kind of rapport AKA trust.
The direct approach does takes some skill, so it’s best for a more experienced men.
This approach is also perfect for picking up a girl at the gym, because it’s brief and to the point—you won’t go waste her gym time. 🕒
The best way to do it…
is by going up to her and saying a funny or witty pickup line. Once she laughs, smile, and proceed by introducing yourself.
Then you can say something like “hey I don’t wanna take much of your time, I just thought you were quite attractive. Let me grab your number and I’ll shoot you a text later”. (Tonality is vital here)
In an indirect approach, you don’t verbally communicate to the girl that you like her, instead, you start a random conversation.
Now you may be thinking, “how the hell do I let her know I’m there to get her number?”
Easy… Using non-verbal communication.
Instead of telling her verbally that you like her, make strong eye contact, touch her lightly, and joke …AKA flirting
You can do so by holding her hand just a tad longer at the handshake or during high fives. You can also hold eye contact after finishing your statement, then smile at the end to break the tension.
Look, she’s not stupid, she can tell you’re not there to talk random shit or ask some question. She suspects you walked up because you’re into her.
Like the direct approach, the indirect approach takes skills and balls. And both are built up by just doing it… We all start somewhere…
The benefits are great BTW…
First of all, you won’t come off as strong as you would with the direct approach. As a result, she will be less likely to put her guard up.
Second, she gets a chance to feel out your personality without the pressure of feeling hit-on. Realizing quickly that you’re a cool guy.
And finally, you get to build solid rapport, since the indirect approach usually takes a little longer.
When you feel that the vibe is at a positive high point, go ahead and ask for her number.
You’re more than welcome to use my go to
“hey you seem like a pretty cool girl, how about I grab your number and we do something fun sometime?”
If you’re going to use this approach, make sure you use your common sense and do it when she’s done with her set or workout. As for what you can say, pretty much anything will do.
#Bonus: Act as if it’s no big deal
I can’t stress it enough, talking to a girl at the gym is all about the vibe you give her.
One great way to avoid coming off as creepy or awkward, is to make it seem like it’s a completely normal to be talking to her. The way to do this, is to tell yourself before and during the approach, “it’s no big deal.” 😎
By you telling yourself this, she will get the feeling that it really isn’t a big deal (law of state transference). Whether she talks to you or not, you will continue to do your thing, and it won’t affect you in any way.
This mental state will make her feel at ease, while also attracting her. Since you have that careless attitude of an alpha male.
Everything starts with the mind, so if you want to be successful when talking to a girl at the gym, drop all the false beliefs.
- Women gym guys are shit
- Women that go to the gym are aggressive
- Women at the gym are not friendly
- Women at the gym don’t want to be bothered
- Women don’t want to meet guys at the gym
Once you’ve dropped the false beliefs, then seduce the girl with intelligence, by following the tips I provided above.
- Be Brief
- Warm the body up first
- Use the right amount of eye contact
- Use the right tonality
- Pick the right words to say