How to stop being shy, this has been the story of my life… I’ve always been that quiet kid that people barely noticed because I never said a word. It hasn’t exactly been a living hell, but it isn’t something I’ve enjoyed either.
I felt this shyness was holding me back because I knew that there is so much I could offer to the world.
After all, I’m such a deep thinker, and I find myself coming up with some pretty funny jokes sometimes, but I was just too shy to express them. 🤐
The lack of self-expression made me feel trapped, I was not free…
It wasn’t up until the age of 22 when I decided to make a change and get out of my shell,.. and I did it!
After thousands of hours of video, 15+ books on self-confidence, and hundreds of situations where I forced myself to act on my shyness. I can now say I am a pretty confident guy.
I wouldn’t say it’s
In the following article, I’m going to provide you with 43 tips on how to stop being shy.
Tips that I used and helped me tremendously in my journey. And yes, it is a journey, it will not happen overnight. But with the right mentality and discipline, I promise you that you will overcome your shyness and have that freedom you’ve always dreamed of!
Why You Are Shy
In order to cure something, we must first find the cause. Once you identify the cause then you can draw and implement a solution on how to stop being shy. The reason for shyness could be one of two things, if not both;
1) You are traumatized as a result of being shamed when you were a child
2) You think you’re not valuable enough to share what’s in your mind. Therefore, to avoid sounding dumb and being judged, you keep to yourself.
For me, it was a combination of both.
I remember when I was 12 in my first year of middle school, kids repeatedly shamed me whenever I spoke because my English wasn’t very sharp. Since I was born in Colombia and Spanish was my first language, I spoke English with a heavy accent and often mispronounced words.
As a result, the shaming from the kids marked me, and I became afraid of speaking up because it usually came with more shaming. This phenomenon is a form of social anxiety.
(if you suffer from a more severe shyness like social anxiety, then feel free to read my article on how to get rid of it.)
The second reason for my shyness came from thinking that what I had to say was not significant.
I felt that other people were probably smarter than me and therefore my opinion would be a stupid one. one without value…
I felt that if I were to speak up and say something dumb, people would judge me in their heads.
Therefore, I made the internal decision to never speak up. My thought pattern was that, if nothing was said, then there would be nothing for people to judge. And that’s when I entered my own invisible prison…
“I know that I am because I know that I know nothing.”Socrates
As we can see from the quote above, shy people tend to be intelligent, and the reason they are so reluctant to speak up is because they understand that knowledge is infinite! You can never be sure about anything.
43 TIPS ON HOW TO STOP BEING SHY
Now that we’ve analyzed what is causing the shyness. I am going to share with you how to stop being shy, with 43 things that I did to overcome my shyness. The following are actions and realizations that helped me and can help you too if you decide to stay consistent and get rid of shyness once and for all!
- Take a sales job: fastest way to get out of your shell
- Accept who you are 100%: Nothing to fear if there is nothing to hide
- Become knowledgeable by reading: Speak things of value
- Join a public speaking club: Helps you realize what you say is important
- Start a Youtube channel and speak about yourself: Some people will love you, and some will hate you. That’s life!
- Join an acting class: This will force you out of your shell and get you used to performing.
- Don’t take life too seriously: our time is short
- Focus on voice: Speaking lowly all your life is product of you not wanting to be heard. You have to work on developing a voice that demands attention. It’ll also help you focus on voice and not judgement.
- Visualization: Before any interaction or performance that requires speech. Visualize yourself being confident and speaking loud and clearly.
- Go out with a friend and dare each other to talk to girls: you’d be surprised at how many girls will actually like you!
- Stop worrying about things which are out of your control: You can’t control what people think, so screw them!
- Join a sports team
- Join the military: There is no choice but becoming confident here
- Get used to small talk: If you can’t avoid it, then you get good at it!
- Act out on purpose: desensitize yourself to judgement
- Learn about social anxiety: you might have it
- Learn about human behavior and interactions: you can control the interaction!
- Start a podcast: to learn how to express your thoughts
- join the debate team: Learn how to defend your beliefs
- Find your calling: You need a sense of purpose
- Teach your calling: It will be of value to some people
- Meditate: Control your mind
- Improve every area of your life: Gain a sense of self-value
- Constantly expose yourself to your fears: desensitize yourself
- Realize absolutely everyone has insecurities: everyone is dealing with something
- Force yourself to participate in class: Get used to sharing your valuable opinion
- Go to social settings and talk to everyone: drunk people talk about dumb stuff. Contribute by bringing up an interesting topic
- Feel good by looking good: Clean, Groomed and dressed nice
- Get used to often smiling: Best icebreaker!
- Apply everything you learn: knowledge without action is meaningless
- Realize you’re not alone: there are millions of shy individuals in the world
- Think positive: About everything!
- Crush negative thoughts: Give these a short attention span
- Focus on giving not taking: People don’t judge if you provide them with value
- Volunteer in charity events: Exposes you to tons of people, while making you feel good about yourself
- Get 8 hours of sleep: Antiexy has been tied to lack of sleep, studies suggest
- Write down every accomplishment: acts as a reminder of what you can accomplish when you set your mind to it
- Learn how to control your breathing: Control your breath, and your body will follow
- Have a clear picture of your ethics, morals, and believes: Helps you come across as confident
- Defend what you believe in
- Be genuine: people hate liars
- Have supportive, focused friends: You won’t seek approval if you already have supportive, loving people around you.
- Do Karaoke
Lastly… Pick a few and begin working…
Guys, just by looking at these you’re not going to magically stop being shy. You must put a few of these into action and do it consistently! Will it feel weird at first? Absolutely!
But that feeling of being uncomfortable if how you know you’re taking the steps towards growth.
Once you master a few of these and you feel your confidence rising, then take on more harder ones. After a few years you’ll be surprised when people don’t even recognize you anymore because of your free/confident expressive personality.